friends and enemies.

I am back from February vacation.  I also took a vacation from the blog.  Now I am back and so are the kids, in full force.  Since I have started this blog I have noticed that I am retaining more of the conversations that I hear throughout the day.  Today an odd phrase popped up, for the second time in five years.  I listened for a while and I started thinking about how children relate to each other.  I also thought, at what age does the phrase "hold a grudge" begin to take effect?  Here is the phrase that started my mind racing.

      Three years ago...
           I was on the playground watching the children play Capture the Flag.  There are always plenty of disagreements that arise and most of them work themselves out.  Some children are more competitive than others but in the end most understand that it is simply a game.  I was a bit surprised to see that two children were arguing and then they started pushing and attempting to punch each other.  These kids were tight, close friends(and did not know how to punch).  I brought them inside to work out what was going on. I was an active boy, I don't expect saint hood from children.  Kids fight, argue, curse and call each other names. An adult facilitated discussion usually solves most problems. I don't count to three and wait for them to stop because really...what comes after three? I don't believe in time-outs and taking away recess is usually counter productive.

 They sat down with me and I asked, "What is going on, you guys are friends, why are you fighting?"  One of the boys looked at me and said, "Well, we are frien-emies."  The explanation was..."We are friends most of the time.  When we disagree and fight, then we are enemies."   I really had no response, they both agreed that this was a great way to explain themselves.

If only this applied to politics and world leaders.  Argue, disagree, throw a few hay-makers and then move on, as friends.

Unrelated short story...we were talking about what the children are going to choose for their upcoming research project.  Surprise answer from a five year old, "I think I am going to research, either Indian Princesses or World War Two."

remember me?

This post is a bit different than the usual BMBAS post.  A tad more reflective.  I was at the local ski mountain the other day and a boy came up to me, stood directly in front of me and said "Hi, Todd."  I did not recognize him so our conversation was brief and not too sentimental.  I felt so disappointed in myself as he walked away.  "Why don't I remember his name?" I thought.  I obviously had an impact, it had been three years and he clearly remembered me.  And then it hit me, Charlie was his name.  And I also remembered that he was challenging but I love those challenges. Then I remembered that I recently came across an old photo of him in the woods. He was in another school now and as I watched his teacher line up the kids at the door, my heart sank a bit. I should have remembered him. 

But there are those that I remember so vividly.  I remember a girl at the camp, she was attached to me at all times.  Her I remember, because I cried at what this young girl had to endure.  Maybe some day I will write the details.  It ended with me having to meet with social workers and the person that was supposed to be her protector, her punk ass version of a dad.  The man responsible for ruining his daughters and sons future.  I was only 16 and for the first time I wanted to leap across the table and beat the shit out of a "parent".  Win or lose I just wanted to land one punch. Her I remember vividly and daily.  Sitting across from that evil man made me want to be a good one.  

I enjoy the challenging kids, I work great in chaos and a good classroom should have the feeling of organized chaos.  I think about what shapes me as a teacher and I wonder, am I in the right place? can I be better?  Should I leave this profession in the hopes of making more money?  I am sure everyone has these questions regardless of the career choice but in the end, this is what I am good at and most of the time it feels right.

Let them meander.

I don't know what happened to the previous version of this post.  Here it is again.

Do you remember looking at the kids head in front of you? I do.  Do you remember being told to "walk with one head behind the other?" I do . I was always the child that tried to skew the line and I would always hear "Todd, one head behind the other."

I am not at the beginning or end of the alphabet.  I was always stuck in the middle.  I had sensory issues.  I felt squished.  I don't like feeling squished, do you?  This line theory also contradicted what my father always said, "If you are not the lead dog, the scenery never changes." Here I was, stuck in the middle.  I did not like it then and I do not like it now.  One of my proudest moments as a teacher took place while I was not even there. 

We were on our way out of the nursing home (see my previous posts if you are wondering why a kindergarten class is leaving a nursing home) when I experienced one of my proudest moments.  I had to go the bathroom, so I asked the volunteer coordinator to watch the class for a second.  She informed me that she used to be a kindergarten teacher and assured me that a few seconds would be no problem.  As I was closing the door, I heard the lady say, "Okay, kids we will wait here until Mr. Martin comes back. Now lets line up."  It only took a few seconds for a few of the children to ask, "Um, why do we have to get in a line?" I was so proud of them.That was also the first time I was called Mr. Martin.  She had no real answer and there really is no answer to this question. The primary reason is that it makes it easier for adults to keep an eye on them.  

They are not ducks, they are not part of a platoon, there is no immediate danger to left or right and I am confident in my ability to keep track of them even if their heads are askew.  I say, let them meander a bit.

do you like Grease?

This post dates all the way back to the start of my teaching profession.  I debated posting this one but in the end it is real funny.  This truly reflects the phrase that hindsight is 20/20. And once I again I was enlightened at the end of my day.
As you may already know, music plays a large role in my daily teaching practice.  It can rowdy a mild crowd and sooth a rowdy crowd.  It supports all areas of learning and no one can resist an impromptu dance party.  Put on a dance tune in my room and a joyful chaos erupts.
Have you seen Grease? Do you remember the Hand Jive?  I thought it would be fun to teach the class the Hand Jive.  I had the right music playing and eventually the kids loved it.  We had a blast for a little bit and then it was back to the books.  It was a great break in the day.  I went to school the next morning and was quickly greeted by a parent.  She asked me if I had time to meet with her after school.  Anyone that has had this interaction understands that this is what I thought about all day.  What could it be? What happened? I hope everything is okay.  It was an uneventful day as far as the classroom goes and then it was meeting time.

(Keep in mind that at the time of this conversation I was a new teacher, just getting started.)

Parent- "Ummm,(silence,throat clear) yesterday my daughter came home from school and said that she learned how to do the hand job."   AWKWARD SILENCE,  I quickly saw my career, degree, EMT license flash before my eyes. My heart skipped three beats.  In my head I just kept thinking that I am going to jail, I am going to jail, I am going to jail. 



"WWWHHHHAAATTTT?"  I quickly and confidently and nervously said "No, it was the Hand Jive, you know from Grease.  Do the crazy hand jive."  I am sure I stuttered a bit as I chose my words. And yes, I proceeded to go through the motions of the hand jive.  Slowly she began to smile and I was thankful that she was a fan of Grease.  Again I was enlightened.
                        Now I stick to Kidz Bop and playing my guitar for freeze dance.

oh the honesty.

Earlier this week we finally had a bit of snow.  It has been a boring winter as far as snow adventures.  Last year at this time we had feet of snow.  This year we were lucky to have one or two days of sledding.  


Lunch was over and we bundled up to go outdoors.  Anyone that has children or works with children realizes that this is an ordeal.  I was watching this one boy and he was having a difficult time. He couldn't find a mitten then his zipper got stuck and finally he was ready.  We were outside for about five minutes when the same boy came up to me and asked "Hey Todd, is it alright if I go back inside?  I have a really big weggie, it is way up there. I can't get it out with these big gloves on."


Oh how I love the honesty of children.